Tag Archives: Nonsense

SING ME A SONG OF TEAPOTS AND TRUMPETS

Sing me a song of teapots and trumpets

Trumpets and teapets

And tippets and taps

Trippers and trappers

And jelly bean wrappers

And pigs in pajamas

With zippers and snaps

Sing me a song of sneakers and snoopers

Snookers and sneapers

And snappers and snacks

Snorkels and snarkles

A seagull that gargles

And gargoyles and gryphons

And other knick knacks

Sing me a song pf parsnips and pickles

Picsnips and parkles

And pumpkins and pears

Plumbers and mummers

And kettle drum drummers

And plum jam (yum-yum jam)

All over their chairs

Sing me a song –

But never you mind it !

I’ve had enough of this nonsense. Don’t cry

Criers and fliers

And onion ring fryers –

It’s more than I want to put up with !

Good-by !

(Written by N M Bodecker)

 

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BE GLAD YOUR NOSE IS ON YOUR FACE

Be glad your nose is on your face

Not pasted on some other place

For if it were where it is not

You might dislike your nose a lot

Imagine if your precious nose

Were sandwiched in  between your toes

That clearly would not be a treat

For you’d be forced to smell your feet

Your nose would be a source of dread

Were it attached atop your head

It soon would drive you to despair

Forever tickled by your hair

Within your ear your nose would be

An absolute catastrophe

For when you were obliged to sneeze

Your brain would rattle from the breeze

Your nose instead through thick and thin

Remains between your eyes and chin

Not pasted on some other place

Be glad your nose is on your face

(Written by Jack Prelutsky)

 

 

NONSENSE NURSERY RHYMES N-Z

Nellie Bligh

Caught a fly

And kept it as a pet

Taking it to school with her

To learn the alphabet

 

Old King Cole was a merry old soul

His crown was tall and twisty

It had a flashing light on top

For when the nights were misty

 

Pussy cat,  pussy cat, where have you been ?

Under the waves in a submarine

Pussy cat Pussy cat what did you see ?

A wobbly jellyfish goggling at me

 

The Queen of Hearts she made some tarts

From spiders dust and soil

And broken bricks

And stones and sticks

And squirts of engine oil

 

Rain rain go away

You’re shrinking me I fear

Please won’t you stop

Another drop

Will make me disappear

 

Simple Simon bought a pie

But when he took a bite

A caterpillar wriggled out

To spoil his appetite

 

Twinkle twinkle little frog

Shivering in your puddle

Hop out of the soggy bog

Come and have a cuddle

 

Up and down the city road

Round and round the market

Riding on my dinosaur

Wherever I can park it

 

Vicky sweet

Got both her feet

Stuck inside one shoe

Now she bounces everywhere

Like a kangaroo

 

Willie Winkie runs through the street

Shoes on his hands gloves on his feet

People are pointing all over town

Wee Willie Winkie’s upside down

 

X was an eXplorer

He explored the mountain heights

In an orange balaclava

And a pair of purple tights

 

Yankee Doodle came to town

Did he take the bus

No he put a saddle

On a hippopotamus

 

Zachary Dapp

Started to flap

Started to flutter and squawk

Climbed on a chair

Jumped in the air

And flew round the room like a hawk

(Written by Richard Edwards and illustrated by Chris Fisher)

NONSENSE NURSERY RHYMES A-M

Andy Dandy’s legs were bandy

Andy’s legs were bent

Through Andy Dandy’s bandy legs

The trains to Scotland went

 

Bobby Shafto’s gone to sea

Sailing with a chimpanzee

They’ll be back at half past three

Bonnie Bobby Shafto

 

Cock a doodle doo !

I think I’ve caught the flu

Shiver shiver cough cough

Atchoo ! Atchoo ! Atchoo !

 

Doctor Foster went to Gloucester

On a winter’s day

An icicle froze

On the end of his nose

And didn’t fall off till May

 

Elsie Marley looks so fine

Dancing down the washing line

Will you be my valentine

Lovely Elsie Marley ?

 

Fee fi fo fum

Little Freddie’s looking glum

How to make him giggle

Give his toe a wiggle

 

Georgie Peorgie pudding and pie

Thought he’d catch a fish to fry

Cast a line above his head

Caught an aeroplane instead

 

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

He didn’t get bruised, he didn’t get bumped

Humpty Dumpty bungee jumped.

 

I had a little nut tree

I gave the tree a whack

The tree said  “Oi !

You naughty boy !”

And whacked me sharply back

 

Jack Spratt could eat no fat

No sausages no stew

His beard was much too bristly

And it wouldn’t let things through

 

Katie Beardie had a cow

That learnt to drive. Don’t ask me how

The other cows just moo or sleep

But Katie’s cow goes Beep ! Beep ! Beep !

 

Little Bo Peep has washed her sheep

They’d got so grey and greasy

But after a scrub

In a soapy tub

They came out white and fleecy

 

Mary Mary quite contrary

What does your garden hide ?

Beetles and bugs

Slithery slugs

And shells with snails inside

(Written by Richard Edwards and illustrated by Chris Fisher)

DADDY’S SANDWICH

Daddy would you like a sandwich with all your favourite things

Mmm ! Yes please

Now what does Daddy really like ?

Daddy loves white bread crusty on the outside

Daddy loves butter but not too much

Daddy loves cheese that’s a teeny bit stinky

Daddy loves tomato with the green bit pulled off

Daddy loves biscuits dunked in tea

Daddy loves his slippers ‘cos they’re old and very cosy

Daddy loves his newspaper but not when it’s been crinkled

Daddy loves his phone with the sound up very loud

Daddy loves his bike but it’s far too big…Oh ! these will do !

Daddy loves the TV and all those boring sports shows

Daddy loves Mum’s bubble bath he sits in there for ages

Daddy loves his camera and I’m not supposed to touch it

But maybe just this once

Daddy loves his banjo

And his toolbelt

And his deckchair

Daddy loves my jelly beans…Hmm

And my jigsaws

My drawings

My paddling pool

My pop-up books !

Daddy’s sandwich is nearly finished !

Just a great big squirt of ketchup and a slice of bread to go on top

But I think there’s something missing

I know !

More than anything

Daddy loves…ME !

Daddy ! Your sandwich is ready !

(Written by Pip Jones and Illustrated by Laura Hughes)